a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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