I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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