so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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