Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
