guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
