Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize