I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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