Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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