oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
