I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize