More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
