yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
