so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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