just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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