It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
