They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
