Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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