He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
