I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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