never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
