i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
