i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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