I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
