This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
No stitches, just platelets and will power
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
the liver wants what the liver wants
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
