Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
