The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
