Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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