i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he laminated a picture of his dick.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
