Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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