Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
