You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
