Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
