Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
