6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
