I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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