nut hugger
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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