did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
