he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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