I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
