i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
