we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
