Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
