Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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