She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
