idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
