his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
