Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
