she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
