One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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