i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
