My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
