Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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