he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
