You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
