My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
