oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
