Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize