someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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