I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
