On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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