i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
