Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
