I'm so fucking centered right now
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
