Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
