She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Randomize
