Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
