I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize