If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
handjob tips. give me some.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize