he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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