Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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