JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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