oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
