You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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