So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
