I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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