It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
