I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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